There aren’t too many divorces, there’s too many marriages. Most people get married without really knowing who they are marrying or just how big of a commitment they are making. Heck, most people get married before they even know themselves very well. When the reality of it all hits them, they are either stuck in a bad marriage for life, or they get a divorce. Education is the solution.
Know yourself well before committing yourself to a life of marriage to another person. Are you really ready? Are you done playing the field? Do you still have wild oats to sow? Is your career or higher education going to get in the way of your ability to really build a life with someone else? What are your beliefs about marriage? Are you a high maintenance or low maintenance personality? Are you ready for kids? Do you even want kids? How exactly do you plan on raising them? Are you going to be a smothering parent or one who pushes the child into independence? Tough love or doting? What kind of financial lifestyle do you want? Can you achieve it before you have kids or should you wait and have kids later when you’ve set things up just so? How much intimacy do you want, need, prefer? How accommodating are you to other people’s needs? Are you a team player or a bit self indulged? There are no right or wrong answers, you just need to have your eyes wide open for the sake of your future spouse. You need to be able to tell them straight up what it is you’re offering. What exactly does ‘let’s get married’ look like to you?
Know your partner before proposing or accepting their proposal. Are they really ready? Do you trust them not to cheat? What are their career aspirations? What are their spiritual beliefs and how important are they to them? What religion does your partner want to raise your children in? Are they high maintenance or low? Do you have what it takes to please them? Are they the type that will naturally please you without having to force yourselves to take care of each other? Do they want kids? If so, when? What kind of financial lifestyle do they want to raise a family in? Are they the type to want to just dive in and trust that everything will turn out okay or do they have a plan that they’re going to want you to agree to and follow with them? What is their parenting style and beliefs? How much intimacy does your partner like? How well do they compromise with others? Again, there are no right or wrong answers, but you need to know these things about the other person before agreeing to marry them.
Young people really need to be educated as to what marriage is. So many girls accept the first proposal that comes along assuming it’s the best they’ll ever get. I think the fear that we’ll be alone makes us afraid to say no to someone who isn’t necessarily the right partner for us. I suspect the boys proposing are doing the same thing. Our fear of being alone and our low self-esteems make us desperate to couple up without really checking out who we’re going to be with and what it is we have to offer them. Add to that the dizzyingly wonderful high that first comes along with falling in love and it’s almost more than folks can handle. It’s only natural that we would want to stay on that high forever. When we’re young, we think that the high will last forever if we get married. We’re committing to the emotions, not to the cold hard facts of who we are, who they are, and what marriage together would really end up looking like. It’s very difficult to do, and much easier said than done, but young kids need to take a step back and seriously look at these questions before moving forward with marriage commitments.
The adults I know who have gone through repeat marriages and divorces are all still making that same mistake. They’re marrying the rush of emotions before doing their homework and finding out who they’re actually in love with. We are in love with being in love. Beautiful stuff, but often a sure formula for divorce once reality hits. If we can learn how to take a step back and bring our heads in where our hearts have taken over, I think we could save ourselves a lot of heartache down the line. Yeah, we probably wouldn’t get married as early in life, because it will take a while to find the right one. But that’s not necessarily a bad thing. The older and wiser we are, the better the chances that we’re going to be able to openly and honestly present ourselves to potential mates.
As a society, if we would just wait for the right one to come along, we’d see a huge drop in the divorce rate. There will always be weird unexpected things that happen, but overall marriage would actually have a fighting chance at being a happily ever after thing again. Choose wisely and hold it sacred when you do find that special someone. Know just how rare and special they are. after all the above said, This is what I mean by “Don’t just Live together,but Grow together”
~MAMIBELACHAN
7th day of ramadhan..
Seriously, I dunno if anyone as crazy as us as to sahur wiv The Tulangs’ Well we did! At 3am in the wee morning.. went to Kala’s house and woke everyone up to have early sahur with us.. Abdullah came down from th stairs, looking at me wiv such a disbelieve face..haha.. but hey’ i enjoy it! one of my best sahur so far…
Special moments wiv my love ones.. my angels..
M A M I H A I R Y S T O R Y B E G I N S . . .
I have made my decision, today was the day i should just go ahead with it. So i went to my hairstylist, Jessie. She’s one of my good friend who seems to understand my wilted hair. So gladly i used her expertise to revamped my hair. I wouldn’t say i was very happy with my decision ( a lil excited though, but i felt i should forsake tat feminine look’ for a while now. Thanks to Qays Zara, who was at the salon to give me “moral support!!”
Checkout the Revamped MamiBelachan::>
6th day of Ramadhan
Woke up @ 11am
As usual bathe the girls, make breakfast and milk for Qays Zara (claim puasa tapi..yok yok!)
Rite after asar.. drive to Marine Parade… did pass by Bazaar Geylang..amboi!..compact of crowd.. wonder when im gonna tawaff there. It looks like food paradize! Buat I lapar jer
.. den for buka today ..i had something different..YES! Burger King Whopper!! Wala wala! Finally i dun have to bang my head to figure out wats for cooking.
Jalan punya jalan..saw CHOMEL outlet. Apalagi.. I singgahsana la, One of my favourite accesories brand. All BLING! BLING! I bought myself and the girls, a pair of heart-shape silver earrings each. Sweet on them! And gladly receive a … (drumrollss plss…)
FOC Heart-Shape BLING BLING! BLACK & CLEAR SWAROVSKI HP KEYCHAIN! I simply luv it!
And now, i’m thinking about cutting my hair. Did snip snip ma own a lil (hehee!), personally, but, having it cut…y’know…by a professional wud be a better prospect for the hair..though i noe me havin short hair would just make me distorted but again who cares’ as long its easy for me to manage. I used to have spiky hairstyle..not so sure if im gonna have the history returns.. i might just look like a Butch! (i do get that as remarks’) But hella’ im a mother of 2..rite??
one of my fav.. hair shade and length..
WILL UPDATE ON MY NEXT HAIRY STORY..
This 2002 movie may be a lil flop, but im very much aspired by Preity Zinta’s character in this movie. Her patience, her love for her step mom and esp to her step sis( whom fell in love with the same man) The song below is one of my favourite from this movie..Dil Tumhaara. ENJOY
M Y A N S W E R T O Y O U R R U D E N E S S A N D I N S U L T S
Rudeness and insult may flow in your blood
But it does not make you bold
However it brings you down as an ant
Which is exactly what you are in the worldYour rudeness does not touch me
For I will not allow such an insult to affect me
Because I am away above your class
As I was brought up with ethicsIt is a pity you were not cultured
And that is why you lack manners
Because you never had ethics
So you grew up rude in the worldMy answer is a golden silence
For my mouth cannot be base
Since I do not fall into your class
As I am above your rudeness and insults.
aku sedih hari kelima aku berpuasa, penuh dengan cubaan yang aku lalui.. Ya Allah Tuhanku! Ampunilah dosa ku. Tapi hati kecil ku terlalu sedih dengan keadaan ini.. all i need is strength dan kesabaran..
lemas ku dalam dakapan mutidak ku sangka kau begituinikah lumrah orang bercintatiada ruang nafasnya
lemas ku dalam pelukan mu
tidak ku perlu kau begitu
inikah ertinya bercinta
berikan ruang agarku selesa
memang dia orangnya, mula memangnya sempurna
tiada yang buruk darinya
bahagia sentiasa di rasa
tapi kini dah berubah
yang indah jadi derita
aku resah gelisah
yang tinggal hanyalah sakit dan peritnya
kini, aku mula sedari, apa yang telah terjadi
diriku dibebani bayangmu
tapi tu semua dulu, memang ku tidak mahu
teruskan percintaan ini bersamamu
lemas ku dalam dakapan mu
tidak ku sangka kau begitu
inikah lumrah orang bercinta
tiada ruang nafasnya
lemas ku dalam pelukan mu
tidak ku perlu kau begitu inikah ertinya bercintaberikan ruang agarku selesa
bukanku benci kepadamu
bukanku benci oh watakmu
percayalah kataku, aku rimas, aku lemas
bukanku benci cemburumu
bukanku benci kau ekoriku
percayalah kataku, aku rimas, aku lemas
kini, aku sedari, apa yang telah terjadi
diriku dibebani bayangmu
tapi tu semua dulu, memang ku tidak mahu
teruskan percintaan ini bersamamu
lemas ku dalam dakapan mu
tidak ku sangka kau begitu
inikah lumrah orang bercinta
tiada ruang nafasnya
lemas ku dalam pelukan mu
tidak ku perlu kau begitu
inikah ertinya bercinta
berikan ruang agarku selesa
katakan apa yang harus aku lakukan
agar kau mengerti
Oh oh oh oh oh ohhhh
lemas ku dalam dakapan mu
tidak ku sangka kau begitu
inikah lumrah orang bercinta
tiada ruang nafasnya
lemas ku dalam pelukan mu
tidak ku perlu kau begitu
inikah ertinya bercinta
berikan ruang agarku selesa
If you knew then what you know now, would you have bothered? I love my kids to death, but sometimes, just sometimes they drive me mad. ~mami belachan
MB: S H E I S A M O T H E R D A U G H T E R S I S T E R
Mothers, daughters, aunts, sisters, grandmothers, the women in any family share a special bond. And a special beauty. Some families look so much alike it’s almost eerie. If that describes yours, then you know that looking at your mom or grandmother is like looking at your future face. Of course la, there are also families who don’t bear any physical resemblance but share a closeness. The best thing about families is unconditional love and support they provide. So ibu ibu, mami-mamis semua..be sure to always make your daughters feel good about themselves. Share what you know, but let them be themselves and express their beauty in their own way..
M A M I ‘S P E N D A N C E T O A N O T H E R T O P I C
Its a biggest challenged for us to look after our parents when they have lost their strength… there is one hadith says, its the biggest pahala (reward) and definitely the closest sacrifice by our mum and dad while we were young, and that when its our turn, will we still give the same sacrificed? Hopefully, Allah give me the similar strength for me to be a solehah..
Personally, my question is still not being answered.. my kids are still young. Hopefully my old age, i won’t ask and fill in difficulties to others and my kids. Insha’allah
My kids loves listening to this nasyid below
Listening to Amarain by Amr Diab
Wala ma kaan ala balee ya hawaa.
Wala ma kaan ala balee ya hawaa.
Amarain. Amarain dol walaa eneik?
Albee beyesalnee aleik.
Atareenee ba fakar feek.
Ya albee yana,
Meen hoboo yana?
Ya shok amana,
Timla layalee gharam.
Ahel ya omry!
Yakool omry!
Salemtoo amry.
We enei aletlee kalaam.
Wala ma kaan ala balee ya hawaa.
Wala ma kaan ala balee ya hawaa.
Amarain. Amarain dol walaa eneik?
Albee beyesalnee aleik.
Atareenee ba fakar feek.
Talet sheghaly.
Wayak ya ghalee.
Wana esh garalee?
Khalanee doob fe hawak?
Eshmena enta?
Habitak enta?
Ashghalto emta?
Shaghalt roohy ma-ak!
Wala ma kaan ala balee ya hawaa.
Wala ma kaan ala balee ya hawaa.
Amarain. Amarain dol walaa eneik?
Albee beyesalnee aleik.
Atareenee ba fakar feek.
Amarain dol walaa eneik?
Albee beyesalnee aleik.
Atareenee ba fakar feek.
Makoola koon habet?
Wala ma kaan ala balee ya hawaa.
Wala ma kaan ala balee ya hawaa.
Wala ma kaan ala balee ya hawaa.
Wala ma kaan ala balee ya hawaa.
Wala ma kaan ala balee ya hawaa.
Wala ma kaan ala balee ya hawaa.
Kesian eh? Kids nowadays macam anti-social.. Look at the above pic..so many Kids but none are playing with each other. Hmm..boleh kita damm the portable games?? pernah jugak dengar cerita, sampai ader gi dating tak ada communication with each other..sibuk main game!( well there’s pros n cons) Nak salahkan siapa eh? parents ke technology?)
… M A M I M U L A C O N T R A C T D I C T I N G …
Tsk tsk, dulu labelnye “mami jarum”, tetapi mami sekarang..amboi! Jadi “mami psp” pulak! haa..nie la nak cerita sikit pasal si psp..not only we can play 3D games, malahan psp will evolve and elevate portable entertainment, boleh tengok wayang, listen to music dan lagi shiok, kita boleh connect wireless (rumah mami broadband wireless la*)… Definitely’ mami rasa bersyukur (thanks*winks) cos I finally OWNED Piano Black with 18 games downloaded (The Godfather pun ader tau!).. *(FaraBaker..kalau chek baca nie jgn lupa..U owe me F1 game.)* ok nanti continue lagi. Now gtg.. nak gi stand by for sahur *(yawning)*
Bismillahirahmanirrahim…
Praise to the Lord… Finally, mami got her own blog. Guess it’s not such a big deal nowadays. But I feel some sort of excitement inside, like a girl who’s just gotten a new toy. But then, what am I going to write? Do I have that much time for all this? Insha’allah yes, if housework doesn’t really get in my way… (biasala mami katakan..)
Anyway today, alhamdulillah… hari ketiga puasa semalam dapat aku lalui tanpa sebarang kesulitan. Segalanya lancar (lancar sey!) sehingga tiba waktu berbuka. Walaupun di tengaharinya perut aku seakan akan memberi amaran awal gastrik, tapi aku sengaja tidak memikirkan tentang itu. Bimbang nanti makin menjadi jadi. Sebetulnya, beberapa hari sebelum tibanya Ramadhan, aku ok ok jer la. Memerap kan diri jer kat rumah.. bila dah mula bosan.. sibuk gi rumah kala yon.. rumah baru (mcm townhouse tau!) Mungkin akibat perubahan cuaca yang ketara sejak kebelakangan ini, aku turut dilanda demam tak jadi (*grinin*). Tetapi sehari sebelum 1 Ramadhan, aku pun balik with kids dari rumah kala yon.. (dgn luggage mcm gi overseas you!) ..maka terawih la sendiri di rumah..mmm.. kebah malah makin menjadi jadi. Alhamdulillah, bila menjalani ibadah puasa, my health kept me well..
Now I’m listening to (Ghaibmu by Imran Ajmain):
Biar ghaib mu suatu misteri
Tiada ku mencari sebarang pembayang lagi
Biar ia bertanda tanya saja
Hati ku dah lama bertitik noktah
Chorus
Biar, biar lah berlalu
Biar, biar lah begitu
Biar waktu mengubat rindu
Tiada ku mencari sebarang penawar pilu
Biar lah mereka tertanya-tanya
Hati ku dah lama berganti arah
Chorus
Bridge
Mana pergi janji
Setia di sisi
Hanya aku yang tertunggu-tunggu
Waktu pun berjalan
Tak berkesempatan
Kau hilang tanpa pesanan
Chorus
Biar ghaib mu suatu misteri
Tiada ku mencari sebarang pembayang lagi
